Rosalie June~A Birth Story

We welcomed our sweet little Rosalie June into the world on Monday, October 13th, 2014 at 9:29PM.  Six pounds 13 ounces and 19 inches long.  She is our perfect, tiny little bundle of joy from Heaven and we are so in love with her!

 Baby Rosie was born a full six days before my due date, October 19th.  Considering my first two babies were five days and two days late, I was a little in shock that I was even in labor at all!  My midwife made me promise I wouldn't have the baby that weekend before since she was going to be out of town, and considering that my last check-up showed me at 4cm, 70% and super stretchy, she was worried I might go that weekend.  I chuckled because I thought for sure I would be overdue with little Rosie just like my other two.  Monday was a regular day; I was busy running errands...I went to Kid-to-Kid for some baby clothes and to Costco to stock up on some freezer meals, you know, nesting stuff!

I came home and Owen watched a show around 3ish, so I sat down with him on the couch and while I sat with him, I thought I felt something a little more....moist than I was used to feeling, but I didn't feel anything largely out of place, so I didn't think anything of it.  I took a call from my mom and chatted with her for a while, then went to the restroom and noticed I had leaked a little more pinkish fluid than, well, ever...but no continuous dripping.  I then noticed I had lost my plug.  So after that, I was on a heightened-awareness.  I didn't feel anything, no contractions, nothing; but I let Kristoffer know what was going on anyway, and since he works from the basement now, it made me so comfortable knowing he was so close.

 I had an occasional Braxton-Hicks, at least, I didn't feel as though it was strong enough to be a real contraction.  So I kept wandering around the house, and finally, and about 6pm, I thought to myself, OK, if we're going to do this, we need to do it now, because I don't want to be calling people in the middle of the night to drive to our house and watch our kids....and I don't want to be completely exhausted at 2am trying to talk myself into pumping up for labor.  So, I put my breast pump on for 30 minutes to see if that would kick start things.  I figured if my body isn't ready, nothing will happen, but if we're ready, then it will move things along (the breast pump stimulates the nipple and subsequently the brain to release oxytocin which will contract the uterus). 
Once I put the pump on, my body must have been ready; I started having real contractions, enough to consciously relax my arms, and body, and breathe through my abdomen.  Even still, at this point, I didn't consider myself in labor since I still had the pump on and I didn't consider my body to be doing it by itself.  Kristoffer sat with me through the whole process and was timing me...evidently (I didn't realize this at the time).  At the end of 30 minutes, he looked at me and said, yeah...I think we need to go to the hospital...those contractions are coming at about 4 minutes apart.  STILL, I didn't think I was in labor.  My contractions were very manageable and I didn't really consider them strong enough to go in, coupled with the fact that I was still six days away from my due date!
Once Kris's mom arrived at the house, we grabbed our bag and headed out.  My contractions felt like they were not as close together, but they were still coming, and Kris seemed pretty certain we still needed to head to the hospital, but honestly, I thought they would just send me home.  Walking into the hospital was the first moment I thought, OK, maybe I *might* be in labor; I needed to stop and lean into Kris to relax through the contraction, so at that point even I could acknowledge they were strong.  When they checked me at the hospital, I was at a 6+, so either way, they were keeping me!  I got changed and assumed my position on the toilet...like my last labor...to get into prime relaxing mode while they filled the tub for me.  This whole time I was really in disbelief I was having a baby...it just didn't seem real to me! 
I moved into the tub for a little while which was wonderful.  Water is so wonderful for labor, it completely changes the dynamic of your contraction, and helps you to do the only thing you need to do in labor-relax.  The water was a little warm, and I started to overheat...I was kind of bummed but I just wanted to be out of the HOT water, even though I loved the water itself. 
Once I got out and on my side into bed, I hit transition.  Those are the doozy contractions and I really needed to tone with those contractions to pull through them.  I remembered from our last labor and our reading, that transition, while the hardest part, is also the shortest.  So I put my head down and got to work.  After about 5 or 6 contractions, my midwife checked me and I was at an 8+, but she told me I was so stretchy that I could start pushing whenever I felt ready.  After a few more contractions, I could feel pressure, so I flipped to my back.  It was a little difficult to get into pushing mode since my contractions were still dilating contractions and not pushing contractions yet.  I had to get about halfway through my second push during each contraction to feel my body take over and get that undeniable urge to PUSH.  I felt her cute little foot right under my rib and I thought I was breaking it!  So I repositioned and braced my arms on my thighs and that proved much more comfortable.  Pushing was actually so much easier with this tiny girl than with Owen.  Her head was so much smaller and she really just kind of slipped right out!  What a breeze, it was wonderful!  Owen's delivery required a lot more hard pushing (although the time required was the same), and his head was much bigger which was painful! 
Delivery of the placenta was kind of painful this time around.  Truth be told, it was the worst part.  My midwife had to reach up and scrape the rest of the placenta out, that was ridiculous, it hurt so much worse than any other part of labor.  And subsequently, I had some bleeding, so I needed an IM injection to help with that and some pretty firm fundal massage, ouch!

My husband was right there with me through the entire thing.  He is an amazing coach, truly.  I could not have found a better man for my husband and a better coach to guide me through labor.  He reassured me every time I said, "Tell me I can do this, tell me I can do this.".  He wiped my brow with a cold washcloth, he whispered in my ear that he loved me and that I was amazing.  He watched me and reminded me to relax my muscles.  He held my hand and was by my side.  His presence itself was calming and reassuring, and I have never felt a closer bond to my husband than when he is by my side, coaching me through our unmedicated delivery.  There is a strength I have never found anywhere else than working together with my husband to deliver our baby.  As strange as it sounds, it's almost like an extension of how we conceived our baby, the final culminating moment of the deepest love, the delivery of the greatest gift I can possibly give my husband.  I don't want to be numb for that, ever.  I see the way he looks at me in labor, with the most awe inspired eyes, the deepest, most tender love of watching his wife be strong and do something hard, it inspires him.   It's a level of intimacy with my husband that I've never experienced any other way. This is why I love unmedicated delivery.  This is why it's all worth it.

 So here are my THREE babies!  I can't believe I am the mother of three, when did that happen?! 

We are so grateful our sweet little Rosalie is here and healthy.  She is super sweet and very hungry!  Her days and nights have been a little upside-down, and her tummy is a little sensitive to certain foods that I eat, but she loves to snuggle and has her daddy's dimples.  I am loving having a newborn, even as exhausting as it is, I have missed having a tiny baby.  Our family has been blessed one more time with a precious gift from our Heavenly Father!

38 Weeks and TWO Days....

.....but, who's counting right?  Can you tell I've reached my limit?  I have so many things to say about my emotions this past week.  My prenatal visit last Wednesday was, a little scary.  I've progressed with no problems this entire pregnancy.  I've never had complications, no hypertension, no placenta issues, no gestational diabetes, negative GBS.  So when my midwife measured baby last Wednesday and told me my sweet girl hadn't grown....I was completely taken off guard...and my nurse-brain ran away with me.  My husband wasn't with me, so when I came home from my appointment, and sat next to him on the couch, I burst into tears.  I was totally terrified.  My brain, already completely fried from being full-term, now had to try and sort out all the things I knew about what this could possibly mean.....placenta issues, inadequate cord perfusion resulting in hypoxemia and stunted growth, intra-uterine growth restriction, anoxic injury which could mean a baby with CP.  Can you imagine how my poor frazzled brain was rapid firing all these things and I was scaring myself to DEATH?  Even now, I have two days until my next appointment and I'm still trying to be calm.  Honestly, I have a feeling it has something to do with my rather poor appetite.  I have had absolutely no appetite recently, which is the strangest thing.  I bought some protein powder last month to make sure I'm getting enough protein, but that week before my appointment, I couldn't find my protein shaker, so I didn't have ANY protein shakes....part of me wonders if I just wasn't giving my poor girl any of what she needed.  Kristoffer has been so patient with me, loving me and reassuring me that everything will be ok.  I'm kind of kicking myself really, though.  My midwife, while I really like her, does an ultrasound at each appointment...which I thought was odd at first, but I didn't question.  Now, I'm wishing I had said something and opted for traditional measurements.  I'm a little 'hippie' about the birth process, so unnecessary US's at each appointment that are not entirely accurate anyway and scare the wits out of me...well, I wish I would have said something sooner.

Either way, the midwife did tell me my fluid levels are great, baby has a strong heart-beat and I'm progressing, 3cm and 70%.  So when labor comes, it will come quick!  I am very grateful for a Savior who comforts me when I am in need, and for a husband who loves me unconditionally.

Here is a belly shot....@ 37 weeks!

 My very wonderful Mother in law threw me a lovely baby shower...a diaper shower!  It was so wonderful to have friends and family, and the diapers I ended up with, so grateful!!  I took some of the accessories of the shower and framed them for the nursery, a gift tag from a gift bag, It's a Girl toothpicks from the cupcakes, and ribbons from the gifts. 

 At the end of the day, when everything had been taken to the nursery, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  I looked at my baby's closet, absolutely overflowing with things for our sweet girl, and just melted with the love I felt from my friends and family.  I am so blessed and so grateful, words cannot describe how I feel for the generosity shown to us.

 I had to throw this picture in.  Look at my cute boy.  Ah, he just melts my heart.  I love my son so much, he has a sweet innocence that reaches the very depth of my motherheart.  He is ALL boy, through and through, and there are times when I get a puzzled look on my face when he does funny little-boy things, but my husband just laughs and smiles and kisses me and thanks me for his son.  So grateful to be a mother, it brings a level of happiness I never knew possible, of course via a way of difficulty I never knew possible, but that's the things with the best of anything....it never comes easy.

Hopefully I'll have some good news come Thursday after my next appointment!

Eight Years!

August 17th brought us to eight years of marriage, CRAZY!  How in the world did that happen so fast?!  It's funny because it feels like we've been married forever, and at the same time it feels like we just took the plunge.  We kept it pretty simple this year, just dinner out and an evening in at home; the kids were at Kris's mom's house overnight, so that was fabulous!

We went to a steakhouse in Layton, Corbin's.  It was absolutely delish!

 Mmmm, a little passionfruit smoothie.

 Some seafood 'martini'.  It was totally hitting the spot, even though I have SO not wanted seafood while pregnant, I really craved this fresh appetizer.

I can't resist a filet of beef, it's my fave, because I don't have to worry eating a chunk of fat (blech!), and it's so ridiculously tender!  I ate the whole thing, served with a trio of amazing sauces (pictured behind).  I figured if I was going to pig out, I should do it with protein.

 Kristoffer had a strip steak smothered in onions and mushrooms.  Don't mind all the food pictures.

 Dessert was a chocolate molten lava cake. YUM.  Who doesn't love chocolate and cake and gooey all in one?

 We took a few celebratory pictures....

 I love being crazy with this guy.  We can be total dorks together.

And a couple of belly shots.  32 weeks, sheesh!  Where is the time going?! 

 I'll be perfectly honest, I have had quite a number of people come up to me with comments like "Wow, must be getting pretty close, now!", and then when I tell them I have eight weeks left, they look at me like I'm joking, and then they look at me with pity.  I didn't really think I looked that big, or WAS that big for that matter.  I've never been pregnant in Utah before, though, so perhaps I'm big in terms of Utah pregnancy? 

We also had a little, surprise before the kids and I went to NY.  Kristoffer lost his job the day before we left.  Kris has seen the signs for a long time now that his department has been struggling, and the time for him finally came.  I can't say that either of us are devastated, it seems as though there is a plan for us as a family, and for Kristoffer and his career.  We are scrambling to figure out what to do in terms of having a baby soon, but truly, we are at peace knowing that whatever happens, all will be well.  The Lord has a plan, and I would rather have this trial than a myriad of any other trials we could face.  Even in times like this, I feel enormously blessed.  I have so much and money is only money.  We are still looking forward to the arrival of our sweet girl!

NY-Coming home to Utah

My husband always has a few tricks up his sleeve, and he LOVES being on the inside of a good surprise.  Truthfully, a surprise doesn't bother me...unless someone tells me they have a surprise for me a tease me with it...like my husband does!  I asked him what he was going to be doing with all his time at home alone, and his coy response:  "Don't worry about it!".  He likes to use this line jokingly when he wants to tease me.  So the whole time I was away, I was trying SO earnestly to not be concerned about his little surprises, but it makes for a rather difficult nightly conversation when your husband can't say a word about what he's been doing all day!

I have to say, when I came home, I was absolutely SHOCKED at what he had done while we were away.  He seriously must have worked the entire 10 days, day and night to get everything done.  Take a look at project number one:

So this is a little arbor/pergola my husband built over our garage.  Yes, he built this all on his own.  Amazing!  We had been talking about how pretty it would look, especially with some wisteria growing on top.  So, he did it!  It looks pro, he really amazes me with how skillful he has become. 

 It makes the boring side of our house not so boring and blah, so pretty!!

 This was the first project I saw when he drove us home.

I did make him tell me at ONE thing he was doing, so with project number 2, he yielded.  We have this really big landscaped area in the front of our house that has just been a thorn in my side.  It held some big juniper ground cover bushes which I hated.  We started with building the raised beds back in March, and putting in some plants...and that was it.  I hated having those junipers, but I didn't want to rip them out until I had a plan for what to put there.  So, Kristoffer ripped them out, sifted out all the gravel that was underneath (evidently that was a real pain) and put in some sod...a great cheap alternative to have there in the meantime.  It looks SO much better! 

 Just such an improvement!  He did a fabulous job.

Project number three:  He also started building me a raised bed in the backyard for a vegetable garden in the spring.  Not complete as of yet, but good grief, he got so much done!

Project number four:  He ripped off the baseboards in our family room and added extra height to them, like with what we did in our main floor bathroom.

 It makes it so pretty!

 And Project number five:  He replaced the flooring in our family room.  We replaced the flooring in our front living room and dining room last fall, and had purchased enough to do the family room, but we just didn't get around to it.  It kind of bugged me to have such mis-matched flooring, but I didn't let it get to me too much.  Well, Kristoffer hauled the flooring up from the basement and replaced the flooring.

 It looks absolutely gorgeous and makes a huge difference!

I am so grateful to my amazing husband for his hard work and dedication to our family and home.  Fortunately, he loves projects, but he didn't have to do any of them.  He made me cry when I came home and saw all of his hard work...especially after he told me he was just trying to get our home ready for our baby.  Seriously, tears...everywhere.  I am so blessed to have him!

NY-Odds and Ends

I'll admit, I wasn't the most diligent with taking pictures while I was there...I was kind of in survival mode the whole time!  But I'm really hoping I captured enough to remember the trip by.

So in the tiny little town that I grew up in, we have a teeny tiny little general store.  It's in an old house...and by old, I mean over a hundred years old...as are most houses in the area.  Anyway, this tiny little general store makes delicious sandwiches, NY style sandwiches....white french bread rolls, meat, cheese, basic toppings, and always with the option for sub sauce, it's like Italian dressing.  It reminds me of home.

 My mother works as a town clerk just down the street from the house, and they have a cute little playground right next to her office (another 100 year old house), so we took our sandwiches from the general store and ate them in the park.  It was nice to have a relaxing day where we didn't need to drive 2 hours to get somewhere.

 Traveling on the plane completely shot my poor feet; swelling all the time, BUT, if I can put them up for an hour or so in the middle of the day, they do much better.  So here I am just hanging with belly!

 There was a day we had planned to take the kids swimming at the lake, and about 45 minutes before we left, my sister was carrying her little girl down the stairs and tripped, Owen was in front of her and they both came crashing down.  Tabitha twisted her ankle, poor Clara was scared to death, and Owen's foot was squished in some form or another.  Poor Owen was crying pretty hard by the time we got to everyone.  We ended up not going swimming, but honestly, I think maybe it was for the best.  You know those moments when you just feel like something awful has been prevented, even if it means a minor inconvenience?  That was kind of how I felt about this experience.

Jacob, my little brother, came home from a week of camping on Sunday, and the kids absolutely *clobbered* him.  They loved him and they thought he was hilarious.  He kept saying he wasn't enjoying all the attention, but we could all see that smile on his face.  Here they all are ganging up on Jacob.

 This is my son.  This is how he looked when we watched a portion of Star Wars for the first time.  Absolutely enamored.  Not a sound, or a movement...not even acknowledgement when you called his name.  Such a boy.

 I was so sad that I didn't have anyone to rub my feet that week, but finally when Jacob came home, he begged for a trade, so I offered him a head and back scratch in exchange for a foot rub.  Jacob is an excellent foot rubber, and I told him my fingers were too swollen to do any kind of massage, but I could at least scratch, so he accepted.  After a week without foot rubs, it was heaven!

Monday night, our last night there, we went up to my grandmother's house where my uncle still lives and met with Aunt Brenda and her family for a mac and cheese throwdown.  It was so nice to see family, I always miss being able to see them more.  I asked my aunt if I would be able to take some of my Grandmother's handwritten recipes home with me; I would love to be able to have an actual piece of her memory and heritage in my home.  So my plan is to take her recipes, frame them and hang them in my kitchen.  She generously allowed me to take some, and I've brought them home, made copies to send back to her and I'll be on the lookout for the right frames!

After the throwdown, I took the kids just up the street to the cemetery where my dad (and his side of the family) is buried.  It's my first time back since the funeral last year, and I miss him so much every day.  A good, good man taken far too soon. 

My children at the grave for the first time.

And my sweet Marin sang 'I am a Child of God' for her Grandpa.  I'm sure he was listening and was there.

NY-Boldt Castle

My mother had SO been wanting to take the kids up to Boldt Castle, on the St. Lawrence River, so we prepared ourselves for the long 2&1/2 hour drive and set off.  It was...ahem...a very difficult trip.  What was supposed to be a 2&1/2 hour drive up, turned into 4 hours.  I felt so bad for the kids, they had just had enough.  My sister's youngest, 18 month old Clara was just done with not having her naps and being stuffed into a car seat and not being able run.  BUT, we made it.

Here is a picture of the boat that I took Kristoffer on for a lunch cruise right before we were married.  Such happy memories!

 Four of the five kids on the ferry over to Boldt Castle.  Owen is totally loving the ride, if you can see his happy little cheek.

 Happy....and very tired.  I think this boy was in the middle of a growth spurt while we were there; his appetite was absolutely insatiable!

 It was a gorgeous day.  Personally, I was hot, but these days, I'm *always* hot.  Hands and feet on fire....all the time.

My mom with little Clara.  Having kids around the water and on the docks made me on NERVOUS pregnant mama, oy vey, I was a bundle of nerves having five non-swimmers on the docks!

 Boldt Castle *was* lovely.  It reminded me of everything in Downton Abbey.  Just so pretty and stately.

 The ballroom.  All of the girls were happy to dance and run.

 The Castle guides were a little on edge having kids there.  I thought one of them was going to have a heart attack when Owen ducked underneath one of the rope barriers and ran to sit on a chair!

 The grounds were so pretty.  After we took our hasty, self-guided tour, we sat on the lawn and let the kids just run and run.  They needed it, poor things.

We managed the drive back a little better and ended up feeding the kids in the car on the way and then they fell asleep watching a movie.  It was a day that, as a tired, swollen pregnant mama, I could have skipped, but in the end, we got some great pictures, eh?!