Saturday, November 29, 2014

Family of Five: Settling In!

Transitioning to three children has taken me for an absolute RIDE, let me tell you.  I've cried...and cried, and cried some more.  Mostly out of sheer exhaustion, really.  Sweet Rosalie is colicky, and it's been a hard realization as a mother.  When your baby cries ans cries and cries...ALL the time, and can't be put down for more than thirty seconds, literally...if that long.  It makes me wonder what I did wrong, you know?  And even though I know it's nothing I did, I still can't help but take it a little personally.  So I spend my days snuggling a newborn, which is wonderful and I love it so, SO much, but she's just...a crying baby, bummer huh?!

I was climbing the walls a few weeks ago, so I took Owen to the park.  He does such a great a job on his bike, those training wheels will be off next summer, for sure!
 This is when my Rosie is the most content, right after she's done eating, completely full to the gills with milk.
 Marin was absolutely insistent on being Elsa for Halloween, so I tried my hardest to pull off the circular French braid...and it actually came out super cute!
 My crazy Ninja.
 Just a little two week old Rosie and Mama!
 I showed Marin how to do leaf rubbings a few weeks ago, she thought it was pretty cool.
 Sweet face, how can I be frustrated at this face for long?
 My position on the couch when I feed her....twelve times a day, it seems!
 Same life, different day!
 And the kitty on my lap.  She needs attention.
 Everyday, sans makeup. 
 Four week old pictures!  She is getting so big!
 A few happy moments!

 We love having a fireplace, and when it got cold the other week, we turned it was so nice!  The kitty loved it, too.
 Sunset on the mountains, we have such a pretty view.
 We actually had a wintertime rainbow, how crazy is that?
 Aaaand introducing my new size NINE feet.  Yeah, I'm so not thrilled about the half size upgrade.  I've escaped it up until this third baby, but the mom-foot-monger finally found me :(
 A rare picture of me WITH makeup on and not looking like death, huzzah!
 My mother says she looks like me when I was a baby....I'd have to agree, but I have a feeling it wont last; my other two kids have turned out looking just like daddy!
 My little Owen after pre-school, he loves preschool.
 Just the other day, snuggling with daddy.  Her baby hair is falling out already, and her new hair is coming in, look at her hairline!  I have a feeling she's going to have dark hair!
So glad we are finally *starting* to settle into a six weeks old!  It's taken a looong time, and it's veeeery slow going with this girl, but we are making progress I like to think. 

Friday, November 28, 2014

Coming Home

We were able to leave the hospital after 24 hours, and truthfully, I prefer it that way.  There is absolutely no rest in the hospital for me.  The bed is so uncomfortable, and while I appreciate having people check on me all night, it means people are checking on me...all night.  I was so grateful for their care, but I wanted to be home where I'm just more comfortable.

The first few nights with Rosalie were super rough while I was waiting for my milk to come in.  It's that way each time and completely exhausting.  But, after the milk was still exhausting.  My Rosie had her days and night turned upside down for about four weeks, oy vey.  I was a total zombie.  At this point in time, I'd say I'm about *half* zombie.  BUT, let me expound on my *full* zombie experience; transitioning to three children has been ridiculously difficult and has brought me to tears just about every day and multiple times on a couple of days.  I've had sleep deprivation induced bouts of guilt so so so many times, even now really for feeling like I'm neglecting my other two kids.  Marin seems to be more OK, I think having school five days a week has really helped the transition for her.  Marin absolutely thrives on routine and knowing what to expect, so even amidst all the 'new-ness' at home, she can at least count on the predictability at school.  Owen, on the other hand has really struggled.  He has preschool only twice a week for a few hours, and honestly, he needs more.  He is SO bored.  And how do I feel when I'm dog tired and lugging a newborn around the house and he keeps asking, "Can you play with me, mommy?", "Mommy, when you're done feeding baby, can you play with me?",  Mommy, after quiet time can you help me build my tower?".  How it hurts my heart to be so tired or have a screaming baby or hungry baby or need to eat a meal or have five minutes to myself.  GUILT.  So much GUILT!!

And can I tell you what makes me crazy?  When I see parents with a child posting these cute little quotes on how you need to enjoy your baby/child and dishes can wait, laundry can wait...all of LIFE, seemingly can wait because your child is the one and only thing you ever need to worry about in the world, EVER.  And I think to myself, well, that's great, that's great that I don't need to do dishes, or even laundry...but who is going to make sure my *other* two kids have clean underwear for school?  And, who is going to help my *other* two kids realize that there is more to life than playing and they need to help with dishes and learn to be a participating member of the family?  Can I just say, I know...I understand the feelings of having one child and thinking that I could do it all.  Thinking, "Hey, this parenting thing is pretty easy, I got this covered, I can do the mom thing, AND everything else.".  And you know why I thought that?  It's because I didn't have two other children that needed parenting.  I've been sufficiently humbled.  Having two children really straightened me up and showed me that I have both feet into the mother-hood deal, and there is more to consider than playing and snuggling...and while that is vitally important, so is clean underwear and teaching responsibility by helping out with the dishes.  Parenting, so I've found, is a multi- faceted and very complex integration of different requirements, and seem to morph and change as your child grows.  And while, when they are little little, they require snuggling and playing and diaper changes, they begin to grow and have expanding needs.  So I promise that I snuggle and love and play with my babies, I want them to know they take priority *always* over laundry and dishes, but I also fulfill the other part of motherhood.  The part that requires keeping a clean home, and showing my kids how to clean up and be a participating member of the household. And my children will grow up to be balanced, well loved adults who know how to do laundry and make meals.

SO, with that said, let me *finally* show you some pictures!  My mom came out for ten days and was here for her birthday AND Halloween.  We'll just start with the first part:

I tried to make dinner one night, Zuppa Toscana and the Bishop's wife stopped by for a moment to drop off a gift, and while we were chatting, my Owen dumped a whole bottle of coconut extract into the soup.  Yeah.  We had pasta instead.  Luckily, when mom came out, she made us some Zuppa Toscana sans coconut extract, YUM!
Grandma and Rosalie.
 Rosie is such a snuggler.
 Is there anything better than snuggling with a newborn?
 We took my mom to Red Lobster for her birthday dinner, and they kids marveled at the live lobsters.
 It was such a nice meal, and Rosie slept for the whole thing.
 Owen, Grandma and Marin.
 I totally slipped the secret to the wait staff that it was mom's birthday and they sang to her, haha!
 This is my sweet Marin, she totally has gotten into making fruit salads by herself, and it's wonderful to watch her be so independent.  This girl at age six is growing up right before my very eyes!
 I let Rosie nap on her tummy during the day, and I just love how she curls right up, ahh nothing sweeter!
 And I'll finish the pictures off with a cute little baby bum, look how sweet!  I know.
As you might have surmised, this post was written under the duress of total exhaustion, so if you take offense to my parenting comments, just let it be and know that not all battles need to be fought or won.  I'm incredibly grateful for the chance I have to be the mother of my three children.  They are beautiful blessings in my life who push me each and everyday to be better, there is nothing more exhausting or rewarding and I wouldn't have it any other way!