Saturday, October 3, 2009

So Ready to GO!

I guess the title has more than one meaning for me. I worked yesterday (in special care, blech), and the day was good, normal, everyone was happy. Then the head-honcho director pulled me aside to give an update on a policy I have been working on for quite some time, and it all hit the fan and splattered EVERYWHERE! Now, in order to understand why the night ended up the way it did, you need to understand, well, we'll call her Miss Honcho. Miss Honcho speaks in a tight lipped British accent and, in essence, is great at being an administrator as she never really gives you answers, just beats around the bush and looks at you like YOU are the idiot. I can ask ANYONE I work with, and they will tell you the same thing. Well, this conversation that should have taken 10 minutes MAX, ended up taking almost an hour and I got back to chaos and really angry parents (rightfully so). I was already frustrated and crying, and finding out how angry these parents were made me even more upset that they walked away with a horrible impression of what kind of nurse I am. I came home feeling absolutely horrible and frustrated and came to a realization that I keep trying to change the world, in the wrong way. I want so badly to FIX things (the nature of the beast, I guess) and last night was another sign that the place I need to be "fixing" things and REALLY making a difference, is in my home, with my family. I do love the independence of having a job, but it's not where I need to be expending all of my energy. While I would love to say that I will be able to stay home with Marin now, it is still a ways off in the future. I have always known it's where I need to be, I guess I just needed a reminder.

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