Some weekends I go to work and leave wondering "Why in the world do I do this?!". On days when I need to be especially "mean" to kids and they look at me with their innocent eyes.....remembering. Remembering every little detail of my face, and every move that I make. They remember so they can begin crying the moment they see me enter their room, or catch a glimpse of me in the hallway. I make little kids cry! What a horrible job, right?! Some days are worse than others, but then I come home and regroup and think of all the wonderful reasons I do what I do. All of the babies I make well and send home to be with their families, all of the mommy's I reassure and validate, which... as a mom, I know is SOOOO important (just as much as caring for their little one!). It's hard to see that I am the reason little one's cry and reach for their mama's, but it is one of the most rewarding things to see that I help to heal their boo boo's and ouchie's and things that hurt so bad there is no word for it. Most of them won't remember me, but that's ok, it means they won't remember what I had to do them to help them!
There are some times when I (we) can't fix them, and they are called to be with the their most loving Heavenly Father. Those moments are difficult even for the most seasoned pediatrics nurse. This past week our little family unit at my hospital lost a wonderful young man after a long illness, and I think of him today as his services are this afternoon. I had the chance to take care of him last weekend, three days before he passed, and was blown away at his bright optimism and cheery nature. All of the staff loved him, and he was always walking in the hallways if only so he could stop and chat with you. He will be greatly missed! Each time we experience a loss, our nurses grieve with the mothers and fathers and express a love and sympathy that no nursing school will ever be able to teach you. I strongly feel that being a nurse is much more than an occupation, but a calling. There is something in the human touch that transcends all of the medicine and treatment the medical field has to offer. There are emotions and feelings that will never be able to be graphed or charted in relation to their therapeutic effect. Modern medicine and future medicine can never come near replicating the wonders of a caring nurse, and no nursing school can ever teach the compassion and love that some of us are born to give in service.
I love my job, I love what I do. I love knowing that not only can I administer life saving drugs and treatment, but that I get to offer a healing gift that only the best nurses posses, a gift that is just as important as the drugs themselves....the human touch.