Christmas 2013

I seem to be missing a portion of pictures, so this  is maybe 80% of Christmas.

We took the kids to the Layton Hills Mall to see Santa a few weeks ago.  Marin was so excited and drew a picture for him.  Santa looked pretty decent, but was a little less than enthused.  Hey, we've all got jobs, buddy, but yours actually requires you to be social.  We also didn't realize it was a company/photo op...which meant no personal cameras allowed.  I wasn't about to spend 40 dollars for pictures.  The kids could sit on his lap for no charge though, so I scurried up the second story of the mall over to the overlook and snapped a few shots of my kids; I know, don't hate me.

 Owen was figuring it all out.  Marin knew exactly what to do.

 The actual making of the gingerbread house!  The kids had a great time, and tummy-aches later that night, of course.

Putting multiple bowls of candy in front of your kids...what are they supposed to do, say no??

Sorry these are sideways.  This is Christmas dinner, nom nom nom.....  These are the marinated turkey cutlets.

 Justin and Melodie brought caprese salad, YUM!

I made homemade noodles with alfredo sauce, and they were deeeelish!  I don't have a pasta roller....perhaps next Christmas?  BUT, I just used my giant rolling pin and some elbow grease and cut my noodles with a pizza roller.  They were a bit thick, but super delicious.  I for sure will be making some again.  And the alfredo sauce?  Oh, my best yet, SO good...and sinful.  I can't make this stuff but once a year.

 My plate of food, I''ll admit, I did have seconds on the pasta...

The cake.  Ooooh, the cake.  I made this six layer vanilla raspberry cake with lemon frosting and coconut from scratch.  I *know*!  It took me all day, but it turned out beautifully and was delicious.  I had to actually throw away the last big piece of it the day after, because I knew I was going to keep eating it!

 Layers and layers of loveliness.

 Marin with Melodie's husband, Justin.  She loves him...heck, we all love him! 

 I couldn't get a shot of Trine, she was right next to the lamp!

Here we all are!!

 Such a fun night, we were so sad when it was done and over with.

 My new friend.  A Christmas Gift, she's an automatic vacuum; her name is Wanda and she is wonderful.  She does a great job keeping my floors dust/crumb free, and I just LOVE that.  Nothing makes me crazier than sweeping my floors...only to have crumbs on them within a few hours and *stepping* on them.  It makes me feel like my house is a pigsty.  So...she has been wonderful!  I highly recommend one!

A Wedding Dress and A Little Girl

A while back, I saw a cute idea, to put your little girl into your wedding dress and take pictures.  Granted, the idea involved a strapless wedding dress, which is much easier to clamp in the back and have it look nice than a wedding dress with sleeves.  Either way, tonight was the night.  It wasn't planned, it just kind of happened, so my background isn't the most desirable, but I love how some of these pictures of Marin turned out.

 Oh my gosh, love my sweet girl.

 We had just finished watching The Princess Bride, and of course Marin loved all of Princess Buttercup's dresses.

 She was really posing!

 I think this is my second favorite.  Love her face!

 She told me my wedding dress looked like a princess dress...

 This one is by far my favorite.  I'm not sure why, I just love the angle, and her eyelashes, just perfect.

 She asked me if she could wear my dress when she got married, I told her of course.

 I do not even know if I can even stand the thought of her growing up and wearing a wedding dress for real some day!

My gorgeous Marin, you looked absolutely beautiful tonight.  I loved the way you smiled at yourself in the mirror and how pretty you felt.  You are always pretty, and it doesn't matter what you wear.  Someday you will look back at these pictures and smile, my sweet girl.  Mama and Daddy love you, Marin!

Silent Night

We've been doing our best to get ready for Christmas, and I can't believe it will be here in Wednesday!! Despite my previous post on missing my father, I've still found the Christmas spirit and have loved preparing all these little things in my heart and for my family.

I've tried really hard to sacrifice.  The last couple of months, I've been a little, ummm, off kilter for varied reasons, (no baby), and I've totally struggle with weight.  I've gained 10 pounds over the last 4 months and couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scale and realized what had happened, complete disgust, my friends.  Are you shocked that I live in Utah and I'm sharing that I've gained weight??  #thisgirlgetsreal  Yeah. 

 So besides for the last few weeks being full of food sacrifice, I've been trying to find those around me to serve.  I guess I really felt I needed to get into the Christmas spirit, and there's nothing like serving to do the trick.  I won't share a few of the things, but there are pictures a little ways down of one thing.

So here we are, and here is a picture of our main floor bathroom lights.  I take this picture to tell a story.  Friday night I was smack in the middle of making dinner (after working all day, mind you), and half the power in our house goes out.  The power downstairs in the basement was working, and a few lights and outlets on the main floor as well as the lights in our master bath upstairs.  Strange!  My oven was out (as I was in the middle of baking chicken), but the fridge (thankfully!) was still running.  Honestly, of all the power we lost in the house, I'm grateful we had use of our fridge, furnace, and kids rooms. #tendermercy

As luck (ha!) would have it, I had so duteously decided to wash all of my and Kristoffer's winter jackets, and the power went out to the washer...with my wet jackets in it.  *sigh*.  So I found an extension cord to plug the washer into an outlet that was working and air dried my jackets: 

 To tried to fix the power issue myself at the breaker box, I shut down the whole house and restarted it...nothing.  I called Kristoffer and he walked me through resetting the GFI outlets...nothing.  He called a friend in the ward who came over to check things out...nothing.  We spent a very quiet evening that night!  I always sleep with a fan on, but not that night...a very silent night indeed!

We had the power company come out the next day, and they determined the problem was on one of their main lines to the house....which meant we could have been looking at a ripped up back yard/concrete/tool shed.  We said a prayer, and Sunday morning when they came, they were able to fix the problem without hardly any digging at all.  VERY blessed with that one.

Last night, Kristoffer and I were able to go out on a real date.  It had been more than two months at least since we had gone on OUT on a dinner date.  We did get to go the the temple this week...which I loved...but when you don't get to actually see your spouse on the date, it's kind of not the same.  So I sent my neighbor a last minute text yesterday, and her sweet 12 year old daughter came at 3pm to babysit.  It was such a great date!

We went to Deseret Book because I wanted to find a Christmas book and an ornament.  I think it's something I want to continue each year.  I've been trying to find a new ornament for our family each year, and when I pulled out our decorations this season, I realized we had about five Christmas books, mostly from gifts.  The kids have loved reading them, so I thought I would add to the tradition an find a book for this year.

For dinner, we went to a place here in Layton called Mongolian Grill.  Kristoffer had been to one a few times in college and loved it, I had never been.  It was great!  It's a buffet of all the different fixings for an asian noodle bowl.  You choose your own uncooked meat, noodles, veggies, sauces, and they grill it up for you as you watch.  All you can eat for a great price, I'll totally go back!

We actually started our date just South of Perry at a store called Smith and Edwards.  This place is amazing, they have just about everything!  Seriously.  It's been almost five years exactly since we've last been, and we found some great little stocking stuffers.  They also have some pretty awesome, obscure, totally random things.  Love that place.

Speaking of obscure items...take a look at this...cassette blowout, 2 for 99 cents!  Yeah, this didn't make me feel old at all!

 This is the book we bought at Deseret Book, and the ornament hanging off of the corner.  It's a Christmas tree, carved out of olive wood from Jerusalem.

 Our Christmas tree!!  I wrapped all the presents last night, and out the one's from us (mommy and daddy) under the tree...I think Owen was a little confused this morning and may have thought it was Christmas morning!

 We have a small nativity set, I'm not even sure where it came from, I certainly didn't buy it.  But, I set it out every year, and this year, little fingers have had fun rearranging it.  I really don't mind.  They have their own vision of Christmas in these little decorations, and it warms my heart that they try to recreate what's in their head (gently, of course).  I saw this and it was a potent reminder of how we really need to be drawing as close as possible to our Savior, kids are great for reminders like that!

Owen has a hard time waiting...he likes to pull out all the presents and put them on the coffee table to look at them...just *itching* to unwrap them.

 This is oatmeal.  If I could start to describe my Owen, it would have oatmeal in there somewhere.  He loves his hot cereal in the morning...almost every morning.  He's just a hot cereal kind of guy.

 Our cute little gingerbread house!  We bought a kit (THE way to go if you're a busy mum) from Costco.  The kids had a blast...and tummyaches later that night.

 A couple weeks ago, I went to a little Pinterest Party...just hosted by some friends at the ward.  We made these super cute clothespin magnets to hang Christmas cards on.  I *REALLY* wanted to keep them for myself, but at length, I decided to give them away to my the girls I visit teach.  I told myself that the blessings  would get in return would be worth much more than the joy I would have in keeping them for myself.  I'm not trying to say anything about myself, I'm actually innately kind of selfish, but I'm working on it.

 The gifts for my Visiting Teaching ladies.  I had an extra copy of The Christmas Train by Thomas Monson that I've been wanting to give as a gift, but it hasn't been the right time.  I finally wrapped one copy in the ribbon, only to unwrap it when Marin told me there was writing in it.  I panicked that I had wrapped up the copy from a family member, but then realized I had the right one all along...the one signed by our Prophet, Thomas Monson.  It was the right thing to do, the girl I gave it to was the right recipient.

 Ten days ago we did this...amongst other things.  Marin had a pulmonology appointment very early Friday morning at Primary Childrens (where I work), and I thought I would make the most of the day (since Kristoffer had the day off) and have a little date with my girl and do some Christmas shopping.  It turned out to be a very difficult twelve hour day.  Marin took her PFT's (Pulmonary Function Tests) and scored 58% (out of 100% obviously).  It was a tough wake-up call.  Even with the Singulair she's been taking, it wasn't enough, and it made my heart hurt to know how much she's been struggling just to breathe.  He prescribed an inhaled steroid...which I had been hoping to avoid, but she clearly needed it.  In the afternoon, she went for her eye exam, which was equally deflating.  Poor thing is as blind as a bat, thank goodness for Polymer lenses that give her thinner glasses.

I can't tell you heartbreaking it is to hear that your child isn't perfect (I know, I know), and needs things like this to be well.  As we were in Costco, dropping off her prescriptions, I figured we would just get all three months of her Flovent, Singulair and Albuterol all at once....until the girl told me it would be $800 for all of it.  I almost fell over.  I asked for a few minutes and called Kristoffer, and almost broke down in tears right there in Costco.  We decided to take just purchase one month of each for the time being and take the hit on saving by purchasing three months.  I survived and made it home, and I am so grateful for my husband who is such a rock when I can't hold it together anymore.

 My hubby and little guy shoveling the walk, so sweet.

We've had moments of frustration, and moments of tender mercies, but all in all, I am so grateful for our many blessings.  I look around me and think of how much worse life could be, and how life could be without the Gospel...and I wouldn't want it that way!  What a hopeless way to live!  In a few days, we celebrate the miraculous birth of brother, our Savior Jesus Christ.  With his humble beginnings in a lowly stable, He was mocked, scorned, and crucified by the very people He was sent to save.  Joy to the World!  The Lord is Come! And someday, when He comes again, every knee will bow....EVERY knee will bow, and tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ.  What comfort to know that our efforts to live a good and righteous life will not be in vain. From our family, the Lymans wish you all a very, extraordinary Merry Christmas.

It's Been...

Today is six months since I said goodbye to my father.  I'm not even really sure to begin.  I've been curious about this day for a while.  Where would I be, how would I be feeling, what would be going on....I wasn't sure what the six month marker would hold for me.

I can't say it's any big surprise, really; I'm here.

Shocking, I know.  It's taken all this time to start feeling...OK?  I've been OK, I guess, but more in terms of not feeling like I'm still in the middle of WWIII and needing to make phone calls every day and feel my stomach churn into a million knots when I heard one more piece of bad news, and not feeling like I needed to fix things, or interpret or feel completely overwhelmed ever day.  Not wondering if I'll get panic phone calls at midnight, or have to step away from work for a half hour consultation with some nit-witted doctor 2,000 miles away.

It's take these past six months to actually feel like I've begun to heal from all of those battle wounds.  I wish I could tell you how mangled I felt walking away from my father's funeral in June.  It felt like I had endured a 9 month long, grueling, painful battle on the front lines with my mother....and my spirit was riddled with bullet holes, limbs were falling off, fingers were frostbitten and black, body completely bruised.  If that gives you any kind of a visual comparison to the way I felt.  True, my father's death was, in a way, a sigh of relief, especially for him to be released from his torture, but also for myself and mother. 

 I felt that sudden weight lifted from my shoulders when I left his room after he passed, but I had no idea it would take this long to begin to heal. 

It's funny that Christmas is upon us, and suddenly, I feel like a little girl who knows she isn't going to get what she wants on Christmas morning, I know it's silly.  Having my father gone is such a keen reminder that life, the whole reason we are sent to earth, is to be tried and tested; to feel hurt, sadness, grief and loss.  My father has always been a part of my Christmas memories, and now he's not here, and that makes me sad, even though I'm celebrating the birth of Christ and the gift of eternal life...I still miss my dad.  

The cold reality of his absence is setting in during the season of Christmas, and somehow, that washes away some of the magic and innocence I remember feeling as a kid.  All of my grandparents are gone, I have none of them left.  And my father is gone.  I'm sure next year will be better, but today especially, I'm thinking of my dad, and this is my first Christmas without him.

To leave this on a happier note, I am grateful for the miracle of Christ's birth, for His life and sacrifice.  I know that through the sealing powers of the temple, I can see my dad again someday.  And it all started with a baby in a humble manger, so very many years ago.

My Sweet Marin

There are little things that I never want to forget about my children, and this little story about Marin is one of them.  Both the kids sleep in the finished portion of the basement, which is really the only place for them.  We only have one other bedroom upstairs besides the master, and I couldn't put one kid up there and one all alone down in the basement.  But, having them both down there is ok.  They have each other and are such good buddies.  

The other morning, we let the kids up to get the breakfast, etc., and Marin told us that during the night, Owen had been scared and went in to her room and woke her up.  Marin then took him back to his room, tucked him and, gave him a backrub and sang primary songs to him (like mama, she said).  That totally and completely melted my heart.  She is growing up so fast, right before my eyes, that sometimes I don't see the little things about her that I need to see.  

As mom's we see the things that need to be done/cleaned/fed/washed/prepped/etc., and we can forget to listen to the sounds of life, the sound of our children growing, the sound of moments we'll never hear ever again.  We can see the pictures, and capture the surface emotion, but unless we listen, we'll never appreciate the moment for what it's really worth.

I'm still working on that, by the way.  But as Marin related to me how she cared for her little brother that night, my heart swelled with love, gratitude, pride, appreciation....all of those good feelings.  I love my little Marin.  She is such a sweetheart.  She is such a little mama.  She loves taking care of things, and has the best intentions at heart.  I don't know what I would do without my sweet girl.  

While she also blasts me every minute of every day with questions, I try to remember that curiosity is a wonderful thing.  Besides, I wouldn't have my little Marin any other way.