Saturday evening I had the chance to go to our ward Temple night by myself, and it was...a breath of fresh air. Kristoffer sacrificed and stayed home with the kids, and I, for the first time in quite a while, ventured to the Temple alone. I've forgotten how wonderfully therapeutic it is to be alone in solitary reverie and ponder things that are exclusive to just Samantha.
I don't have the chance very often to be alone and contemplate my Savior's love for me. There is always dinner to make, clothes to fold, dishes to wash, children to feed and corral, etc. But when I'm in the Temple, I have a good two hours to listen, and think. No distractions, no time-table, just a wonderfully healthy serving of spiritual food for my poor little starving spirit.
It was wonderful, albeit, very warm in our packed-to-the-gills session, but I found myself, at the end of the session, sitting, and praying. I had gone to the Temple with a very precise thing on my mind to pray for, and as I sat down and closed my eyes, my mind would not ask for what I meant to ask for. My moment of thanks evolved into a prayer of gratitude, and I completely forgot what I had come there to pray for in the first place. It's funny how when we come to the Temple, the really important things are put into focus.
And Sunday. I have come to LOVE the last hour of church on Sunday. Relief Society has never been a huge part of my knowledge base...I've never had a chance to be IN Relief Society! Since I turned 18, I've been called to serve in the Primary and Young Women's Organizations, and those have been incredible experiences and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I've LOVED serving the sweet, young children and teaching those incredible young ladies.
Since we have moved to Utah, I've had the chance to actually GO to Relief Society, since I haven't had another calling, and within the last month or so, I have truly developed a deep love for the Relief Society. What a wonderful feeling to be embraced by other women and have your withered, beaten and frazzled mother-heart fed such wonderful words of God's love for his precious daughters! Kristoffer has taken Owen with him to Priesthood, so I'm able to have that wonderful hour to bolster my spirit for the upcoming week of hard, hard mommy-work. As much as I love my son, I can't focus (or even be IN the room) when I have him with me, so I feel like I'm just biding my time until church is done. And that little detail has made all the difference!
It's funny how the Lord knows what we need. In the moment when I had become so used to serving with the Young Women, the Lord knew I needed something else. He knew I needed to receive strength on Sunday from some wonderful teachers. He knew I needed more than just the same calling. I've truly received a testimony of Relief Society, and I'm grateful my Savior knows me better than I know myself.
It's funny how things change, and how we grow.