Wednesday, October 27, 2010

"The Hardest Part...

....Was letting go, not taking part...".  Since there is much to catch you all up on, I should start with our bit of sad news.  After some sad and painful deliberation, Kristoffer and I decided it was time to find our dog, Mollie, a new home.  I am very sad thinking about this even now, as the events just transpired yesterday.  Mollie was welcomed into our home 18 months ago as a 4 month old puppy trapped in a large dog's body.  She is beautiful Golden Retriever and has always been most gentle with our Marin.  This has been, on my part, the only reason she has stayed with us for so long.  She has always been a very high energy dog, and we hoped that by the time she passed her first birthday (LAST October), she would begin to settle down, and then we were told to wait another year, so we did.  Having a high energy dog can be do-able in the right circumstances, and unfortunately, we were ill equipped to deal with this.  Mollie regressed quite a bit during and after our move and was a daily source of frustration to myself and a loaded rocket waiting for Kris when he would return from work at night.  It was exhausting.  I felt no affection or love or even obligation to the dog and would frequently snap at her.  I didn't like that this side of me was rearing it's ugly head, and I liked even less that my daughter was witnessing my frustrations.  Kristoffer was having difficulty finding the time to exercise her as much as she needed and discipline her on a consistent basis. 

All of these factors were part of our long overdue decision, and yesterday we made the decision that Mollie deserved a home that could offer her the exercise, discipline and affection she needed and deserved.  Kristoffer found an applicant, met with them and sent Mollie to her new home.  We are so sad to have made this decision and we do miss her.  My most feared moment came this evening when my sweet Marin asked where Mollie was...my eyes teared and I answered that Mollie had gone to play with some friends. 

Mollie has been a wonderful part of our lives for the last 18 months, and knowing we have a little boy coming who will demand even more of our time, makes me realize we have made the best decision for all of us.  Someday we will have another dog and look forward to that day.

My husband has returned from his day of meetings, so I will join him and finish my blogging tomorrow!

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