Friday, July 15, 2011

Follow the Feeling

I have been waiting patiently for the right moment to publish this post, and the time has finally come.  This is going to be a bit of an emotional post, as it involves some very big changes for our family, but exciting none-the-less.

My husband has lost his job and we will be moving to Salt Lake City, Utah.  We have had some strong forewarnings about this for a few months now and are grateful, since it has allowed us time to make a plan and prepare.  Fortunately, we have some wonderful family members who are willing to take us in for a few months while we figure out our next step.  We plan to be out of the state by Saturday the 23rd of July, 8 days away! 

Amidst all of the chaos that typically revolves around a tumultuous job and fear of job loss, as soon as we made the decision to head to Salt Lake, we immediately felt at peace, and still do.  Kristoffer has no job lined up in Salt Lake and we are, in essence, Following the Feeling.  It is a HUGE test of faith for us as a couple to know that the Lord will provide a way, when we have no idea what is next for our family.  We are uncertain if Utah is a stopping point for another place we need to be, or if we will remain there for years to come.  The only knowledge we will be taking with us is that our Heavenly Father loves us and is so very aware of our needs and will take care of us. 

So many things have brought me comfort recently and I will share them with you:

"Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom; Lead thou me on..."
*What an inspired hymn.  I find so much solace in this lovely tune, knowing that I have a bright, beautiful, loving Savior to lead and guide me amidst life's gloomy and disparaging trials.

1 Nephi 4:6-  "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do."
*This scripture was part of my YW lesson this past Sunday, and I broke down in tears in front of my class as I told them we would be moving and bore my testimony of how I wanted them to know so badly that I had a testimony of my Savior and His love for me.  How we had no idea what was to come for our family or why we were being led to Utah, but knowing that that's the place we need to be.  And how comforting it was for me to know that I don't need to have ALL the answers ALL the time.  As a person and a nurse and a mom, my job has always been to know the answers...what joy I experienced when I realized that I DON'T need to know ALL the answers all the time...that I can be led by the Spirit, and things will be ok....even if I don't know what's in store for me or our family, the Spirit never deceives.

"Be still my soul:  The Lord is on the side;  With patience bear, thy cross of grief or pain.  Leave to thy God, to order and provide; in every change, He faithful will remain.  Be still, my soul:  Thy best thy Heav'nly friend, thru thorny ways, leads to a joyful end."
*My favorite hymn. my favorite hymn.  Such a beautiful tune and lyrics to match.  Our time here in Oregon has been wonderfully challenging.  We have faced an incredible amount of trials here from bad housing to towed vehicles, 4 bills in collections (!!!) from faulty billers at the doctor's offices, breaking down vehicles leaving me stranded in the middle of the road with 2 children, unexpected ER visits with accompanying bills, streching a budget beyond belief, a tax audit...I could go ON!  You name it, we've been through it these past 12 months.  In a moment of despair from the culmination of all of these and the realization of the weight of these struggles, I fell to my knees a few months ago and wept...I was so weary.  So weary of fighting.  He has given me an understanding that He is there for me, and will lead me through these thorny ways, to a joyful end.  Be still, Samantha, the Lord is on thy side.

1 Nephi 3:7- "...I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which He commandeth them."
*Need I say more?  Just Do It!  THAT is what Nephi is saying.  The Lord would never ask us to do something without preparing a way for us...that would be terribly cruel of Him if He did (which He never would).  It may be hard and seem impossible, but if He led you to it, He will lead you through it!  Satan would have us believe we must always be in control, and in moments such as this...we are both fighting the urge to give in to the natural man and start fretting about how we will never make it and we don't have a plan and this and that.  When the Lord is asking us to have faith...our way has been prepared, just keep the faith!

We know that we will be blessed for our faithfulness and know we have been blessed with such wonderful family members everywhere who are assisting us in this process.   We are not scared or frustrated, we are peaceful and taking deep breaths!  We will of course miss our friends we've made here in Oregon in just a short year, but appreciate so much their friendship while we've been here.  Moving is always so bittersweet. So...Utah, here we come!


Mairi dhubh said...

Thank you, Samantha, for sharing your experience in so much depth. I got quite teary-eyed reading about your leap of faith. Also the scriptures and hymns you quoted. Thank you for your testimony!

Warburtons said...

WOW. I was touched by your words, what a year you guys have had. I hope your move goes smoothly!

Emily said...

Wow Samantha, thank you for sharing! Good luck with such a last minute move. When we moved from Oregon to Bountiful it was a quick one, but we did feel we ended up where we needed to be, and that feeling of peace is so wonderful. We would love to have you and your cute family over for dinner. Please call me when you feel settled in enough to come over!


Tabitha said...

I can just feel your faith and testimony radiating through your words! You are so blessed to be able to go willingly where the Lord leads you. Where many would fight and curse God for their bad luck, you learn and your faith grows. God bless you! We'll continue to pray for you!

Scotty & Emily said...

You sweetie pie. You guys will be fine. It is not going to be easy, perhaps, but you will learn so many wonderful things. We only wish you were coming to Georgia, instead! *hugs*

spanky said...

Hi Sam, I follow your blog and marvel at your new life as a wife and mother. I knew you as an awesome nurse a long time ago. I will pray for you and your wonderful family. I know that the Lord will always be faithful, this I have found to be true in my life! Debbie Gross - Cortland