I have some exciting news...I have a job! I may have mentioned that I would be endorsing my RN license here in Utah, which I did...and I've been looking for a job as well, which I found!
As a mom with two kids, my priority will always be at home, with my children. Does it sound strange to you that I still decided to get a job? I know, I struggle(d) with this often, as well. It's always a tough decision to go back to work, believe me, I know....I've done this a few times before. And I want to be sure I'm giving my kids what they need and deserve, and that I'm not cheating them out of a mom. Dilemma much?
I think about that quote: "Life is not about the number of breaths you take, but about the moments that take your breath away.", I that helps me to best clarify my decision. My success with my children isn't necessarily calculated with the number of days I am just present in the home with them, but about the moments I am acutely focused on being an A+ mom. We must breathe...we must spend time with out kids, no question there! But my success is better measured in meaningful moments with my kids...not just being in the house. I'm writing this only because I know there may be other mom's out there who struggle with this same decision.
I could spend a lot of blog-space talking about my decision, but I'll spare you those parts. In the end, I feel very, very, VERY at peace with my decision. I've pleaded with the Lord to let me know if I was making a bad choice to work for 16ish hours a week, because like all good moms, I have the mom-conscience. The little nagging voice that ALWAYS questions whether of not you are making the right choice for your kids.
After my prayers, I received a call for a position I applied for which I *thought* I wanted, only to find out it was a night shift position. I semi panicked and told the recruiter that I would need to call her back. When I hung up, the true panic set it. My mind and my heart were very tumultuous and after praying and talking to my husband, they were just as tumultuous. I turned down the position.
A re-applied online for a job I thought I had already applied for, and received a call about 4 days later. Everything sounded great on the phone, although I was a little nervous about being fully qualified for the position. I prayed and talked with Kristoffer, and felt pretty good about it. I interviewed for it and still felt very ok. I waited for an offer, and still....I felt ok. I received an offer and accepted it, and even now, I feel very peaceful. I think this is where I need to be.
SO....what is my job?! I will be working per diem at Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City as a sedation nurse in their imaging department. Which means I'll be responsible for a good number of outpatient kids as they have procedures; they'll need an IV, monitors, sedatives and monitoring while sedated, recovery and NEXT pt. please! I'm excited, and I'm realizing that I'm totally qualified for this job (I'm a GREAT nurse, by the way.). The hours are typically two, 8 hour shifts a week, but some weeks I could have no hours, and some weeks could be more hours. This is just what I expected though, having a per diem job. It will be tough finding someone (read: no daycare for us) to watch the kids with such an erratic schedule, but I'm thinking that if the Lord has guided me this far, he won't abet me now.
This means lots of happy things, a more balanced Samantha, an increased opportunity to fly home in September for my 10 year class reunion (!!!!), a chance for my kids to experience new faces and socialize, and an ability to follow our prophet's counsel and pay off some debt (who doesn't have debt these days?!).
I start in two weeks, and hopefully that will give me enough time to find a great sitter!