.....but, who's counting right? Can you tell I've reached my limit? I have so many things to say about my emotions this past week. My prenatal visit last Wednesday was, a little scary. I've progressed with no problems this entire pregnancy. I've never had complications, no hypertension, no placenta issues, no gestational diabetes, negative GBS. So when my midwife measured baby last Wednesday and told me my sweet girl hadn't grown....I was completely taken off guard...and my nurse-brain ran away with me. My husband wasn't with me, so when I came home from my appointment, and sat next to him on the couch, I burst into tears. I was totally terrified. My brain, already completely fried from being full-term, now had to try and sort out all the things I knew about what this could possibly mean.....placenta issues, inadequate cord perfusion resulting in hypoxemia and stunted growth, intra-uterine growth restriction, anoxic injury which could mean a baby with CP. Can you imagine how my poor frazzled brain was rapid firing all these things and I was scaring myself to DEATH? Even now, I have two days until my next appointment and I'm still trying to be calm. Honestly, I have a feeling it has something to do with my rather poor appetite. I have had absolutely no appetite recently, which is the strangest thing. I bought some protein powder last month to make sure I'm getting enough protein, but that week before my appointment, I couldn't find my protein shaker, so I didn't have ANY protein shakes....part of me wonders if I just wasn't giving my poor girl any of what she needed. Kristoffer has been so patient with me, loving me and reassuring me that everything will be ok. I'm kind of kicking myself really, though. My midwife, while I really like her, does an ultrasound at each appointment...which I thought was odd at first, but I didn't question. Now, I'm wishing I had said something and opted for traditional measurements. I'm a little 'hippie' about the birth process, so unnecessary US's at each appointment that are not entirely accurate anyway and scare the wits out of me...well, I wish I would have said something sooner.
Either way, the midwife did tell me my fluid levels are great, baby has a strong heart-beat and I'm progressing, 3cm and 70%. So when labor comes, it will come quick! I am very grateful for a Savior who comforts me when I am in need, and for a husband who loves me unconditionally.
Here is a belly shot....@ 37 weeks!
My very wonderful Mother in law threw me a lovely baby shower...a diaper shower! It was so wonderful to have friends and family, and the diapers I ended up with, so grateful!! I took some of the accessories of the shower and framed them for the nursery, a gift tag from a gift bag, It's a Girl toothpicks from the cupcakes, and ribbons from the gifts.
At the end of the day, when everything had been taken to the nursery, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I looked at my baby's closet, absolutely overflowing with things for our sweet girl, and just melted with the love I felt from my friends and family. I am so blessed and so grateful, words cannot describe how I feel for the generosity shown to us.
I had to throw this picture in. Look at my cute boy. Ah, he just melts my heart. I love my son so much, he has a sweet innocence that reaches the very depth of my motherheart. He is ALL boy, through and through, and there are times when I get a puzzled look on my face when he does funny little-boy things, but my husband just laughs and smiles and kisses me and thanks me for his son. So grateful to be a mother, it brings a level of happiness I never knew possible, of course via a way of difficulty I never knew possible, but that's the things with the best of anything....it never comes easy.
Hopefully I'll have some good news come Thursday after my next appointment!